Insane weekend prospected

This weekend is going to be hell. I have so much school work to do its scary just to think about it. I have to learn about 75 artifacts. Write computer programs that I have no idea how to do. Write a four page english paper. Lastly do math homework on matrix's that I have problems with.

My schedule for this weekend consists of homework, halo, sleep, and repeat.


Music: Matt Pond PA:So Much Trouble

Objects of my affection

Music: Peter Bjork and John

So many problems and not enough solutions

I have to say right now there is nothing I like about my life.
I'm lost
I don't were am
I don't have clue were my future is
I can't stand to look at my past
I can't sleep
I have to hear the one name I want to avoid everywhere I go

I'm failing my major
I don't really enjoy the things I'm good at in school
I can't stand this depression much longer
I hate these constant mood swings into sadness
I hate never getting definitive answers

I can't get rid of pointless stress
I'm losing my hair because of it
I wish my body wasn't so messed up
I wish I could still play soccer
I miss that part of my
I have a huge hole in my life from it

I wish I could see beauty in life
I wish I wasn't so stupid
I wish something will just end or begin
I'm tired of being stuck were I am

I hate everything, yet
I hate nothing
I try to be nice
I still get nowhere
I still am despised by most people

I can't get to heaven
I can't to hell
I wish we could know where our souls end up
I wish my mistakes would leave my head
I hate being this confused

I wish I could fly
I wish I was floating in space
I have too many problems and
I'm almost out of solutions


Now for the most depressing music play list ever.


Please Please Please-Shout Out Louds
Flying Pretend- Oranger
Consequence-The Notwist
Marching Bands of Manhattan- Death Cab For Cutie
Don't Forget To Breathe-Beulah
Broken Heart- Spiritualized
The Warming Sun- Grandaddy
Cold Part- Modest Mouse
Everything Means Nothing To Me- Elliott Smith

Don't Just Do Something

Sometime
They say that love is blind
But I think that dumb is what they had in mind
I could let it go
But Id rather know
If I sit around
Will another show

Sometime
I get to fly so high
That the sun burns my wings but I will fly
Just a little too far
cause thats where you are
And I wont bring you down
Believe in me

Sometime
I like to sit around
Im just contemplating sitting round
I could lay in bed
Like my mamma said
Dont just do something
Sit around instead

Sometime
If I may say myself
Im not bad at life, Im not good as well
And though life goes on
I can plainly see
Just what is it for
If its not for me

Sometime
Though its a big surprise
I may compromise the thing I most desire
I can say with pride
Hold my head up high
That I had a great idea
But never mind


Oh babe
Im going nowhere
Nowheres where I wanna be

Oh babe
Im good for nothing
Nothing is good enough for me
Anything, anything can come to anybody
Everything, everything can come to someone
Sometime

Oh babe
Im good for nothing
Nothing is good enough for me
Anything, anything can come to anybody
Everything, everything can come to someone
Sometime


Sometime
Opportunity
Price is right by me living even slow
I cant breath and think
And I need a drink
All this common sense
Made a fool of me

Sometime
I like to sit around
Im just contemplating sitting round
I could lay in bed
Like my mamma said
Dont just do something
Sit around instead

Sometime
I like to fly so high
That the sun burns my wings but I will fly
Just a little too far
cause thats where you are
And I wont bring you down
Believe in me

Sometime
I get me all confused
And the reasons why I confuse you to
I could be with you
Try to sort it out
If I tell the truth
I like to lie about

Sometime
Though its a big surprise
I may compromise
The thing I most desire
I can say with pride
Hold my head up high
That I had a great idea
But never mind

Sometime
I like to sit around
Im just contemplating sitting round
And though life goes on
I can plainly see
All this common sense
Made a fool of me

I dont wanna live
But I cant resist

Ive got some reasons
And I made amends


Music- Spiritualized

Stupid Logs

Leave it to math to ruin my day.

Tomorrow I get to look forward to computer science. Where I got nothing done over break.

Then the next day I get to look forward to a test on logs.

Horrible way to start school up again.

Kill me now......


Music: Spiritualized-You wont get to heaven


I'm still very afraid. I really wish I wasn't so stupid. My head is spinning.

Got to hope for the best and the best looks great now baby

Spring Break is almost over. Overall its been pretty good, mostly these last couple days.

I got my xbox 360 back in the from the repair place. For the first time in long time the dogs were actually useful and woke me up when the UPS guy came, since he came before noon it is impossible for me to get up that early during spring break.

During this week I also went up to NIU hang out with Lenny. Which consisted if the usual playing video games, going to the junction, and getting drunk. It was fun and the people he hangs out with at NIU are pretty cool.

Also during spring break I bought my plane tickets for my Germany trip. For about two and a half weeks I get to hang out with my family over their. Last summer trip was mostly about travel and following the world cup games and festivities, so I ended up only spending about two days with family that I haven't seen in over 8 years.

I also bought a new notebook computer. Its so nice to be able to connect to the internet wireless and not have it freeze when I log into myspace. Plus now I can store alot more music. It will also help with my computer science class, since now I can work on assignments at home.

The new house is getting really close to being finished. Today we put carpet in my room. I have to say installing carpet is major pain. We also finished the kitchen this week. So all that is left to finish is the stairs and living room and then we move in. I'm really starting to get excited about the idea of moving in.

The way I see things right now. Last week was my lowest low. I'm thinking that there is no where to go, but up. The way things came together this week have made me actually happy for the first time in a long time and the next couple months look not to bad either. I hope this is the beginning of my life coming back together and not just a temporary happiness that my life has mostly consisted of.

I'm starting to want to do something that will either put me at a greater level of happiness that I ever been or will sent back down to where I was the past year. I'm very afraid.


Music:Surround Sound-The Sun Is On Our Side

Shows

I've decide I'm not going to any more shows this spring/summer. I'll save my money and wait and see if Lolla has a good line up. Only a few artist would be a exception. Here is one.

Xbox Live Conversations

So, while I was playing halo 2 at 2a.m. tonight. I ended up getting in a party of people who are major conspiracy theorists. This led to some interesting talks. I'll only be able to summarize what was said since most of it I never heard before and forgot. The conversation was between three people and I mostly just listened since I can't really make much noise late at night.


First they debated about who the next president was going to be. The 32 year old guy from Cincinnati believed that Arnold Schwarzenegger would become the next president. He claimed that he started getting ready for running the year before he ran for governor. That the constitution will soon be changed so that he can run. The guy also stated that Arnold boldly stated that the U.S. need a single strong leader and he wants to be that guy. The guy also said that Arnold's dad was in the SS and also what other famous leader came from Austria. The guy also said that Bushes family can be linked with Hitler. All three of them agreed that 9/11 was staged. Since BBC broadcasted the attacks a half hour before they occurred. Similar to Pearl Harbor attack being published a week before the attack by a famous newspaper. Also he said that a local news group did a study of many camera we get seen by in a ordinary day. The news group followed a normal women in Cincinnati for one normal and found that she came across 120 different cameras. He also thinks that the government wants the country to stay divided fighting between races.

The other white guy 25 years old who recently moved to Nebraska from Brooklyn. He believed that Obama was going to be the next president. He doesn't think Hilliary is going to be the next president since women got to vote for first time 50 years after black men were able vote. So he thinks a black man will be elected before a women is. He also believes that Jews control and set up everything. He also thinks that the FDA controls all drug traffic and Al Quada was originally set up for growing and selling heroin by the U.S. government.


The last guy was 28 year old black man. He said that Obama would never get elected and the world will end when a black man gets elected. He believes that Hilliary will get elected. He also talked about how the Masons know and control everything. That there are houses and other beings on the other side of Moon and they see how we are destroying the planet.

Other random stuff that was mentioned was how the E in E=MC2 doesn't actually exist. They talked about how prophets mentioned the lost city of Atlantis. How people from Atlantis were originally aliens. They also talked about minorities birthrates and how in any culture the dumb tend to have more kids and that will eventually lead to the destruction of the human race. The end of the world will be from a black hole. Since black holes are all over the universe.

Most this stuff I don't believe, but it is sometimes interesting to hear theories that are outside the box.


Music: Muse-Black Holes and Revelations

The Week Is Over!!!!

Thank God, honestly one of the worst and most costly weeks ever in my life.

This weekend was almost good. I was able to hang out with my two best friends Lenny and Fred on Friday. Also hanged out with the rest of the Geneva crew, which mostly consisted of playing Gears of War and some D&D. Yes, very nerdy, but very fun. Its nice to hang out with friends, since the end of winter break was the last time I hanged out with anybody.

Since my dad has one the luckiest and best days to have a birthday. My St Patricks day consisted of being his DD when he went out to the bars. It was alright, we had some decent conversations, mostly about how he wants me to stay at home for college and me wanting to get away as soon as possible.

Only one week until spring break! After spring break, I need to get my shit together and get my grades up to what they need to be if I have any chance of getting into UI. I'm in good position in most my classes, I just need to find a way to get rid my procrastination.

Also I'm considering getting back into soccer shape after I get back from Germany. Then try to make it onto the ECC soccer team. The chances are low that I will be able force myself back into shape, but you never know.

Lastly, less than a month until we move into the new house! I'm actually starting to get excited about that.


Music: Spiritualized-Stop Your Crying

This week needs to end.

The week begins with me waking up to a huge dent in front of my car. Left by probably my neighbors across the street, since I park on the street and the angle of dent matches perfectly with their drive way.

Then I get lost trying to find a show in Palatine and end up in Algonquin. When I get their I find out its sold out and 21+. Luckily my friends Surround Sound where opening for The Smoking Popes and got me in. The show was good, but then on the way back I have to get a traffic ticket. Now I have to take traffic school in order to not lose my license. So I'm down over hundred dollars plus how ever much it cost to repair the dent.

Then school this week has been a total disaster. I've taken to tests that I'm pretty sure I bombed. Which will probably eliminate the possibility of get a A in those two classes. Then there's Computer Science which has gone in "How the Hell Does This Work" mode. I really need a new computer to have a chance at passing the class. If I don't get a computer by spring break I'm pretty sure I'm doomed. I would have a computer by now if my dad wasn't such a dumb ass and not let me buy a computer with my college money. Does he not get the point that for majoring in computer science you need a decent computer and it would be contributing for my college future!

Now for the worst part of this week, missing the Of Montreal concert. I've been looking forward to this show for months, only to find out that I can't make it to the show. I miscalculated the days and I also had to have a math test today. The miscalculation of the days goes back to my computer problem, since its currently April 08, 2000 on my computer.

Music: M83-Let Men Burn Stars

The Dive

So, I yesterday was watching the dive on fuse. I barely ever remember catch the dive when its on, since it only plays for half hour at 11:30 on weekends. Its sad that crap music gets played all the time, but they only have time for a half hour of indie music. Anyway there was one video that I thought was amazing and the music is ok also.

Wishes of Snow

Its funny that earlier this winter I was complaining about the lack of snow. Lets just say I'm eating my words right now. Since I quit snowboarding early this year. All this snow serves me no purpose, except make it a pain to drive. I really wish it would of snowed more like this when I was younger. When I had friends to make snow forts and have snowball fights. Now I'm just older and alone and snow is mostly just a annoyance.


Music: Death Cab for Cutie-Different Names For The Same Thing

Elliott Inspiration

So, I finished "Elliott Smith and the big nothing" last night. It was very sad, since right after he got off drugs and was putting his life together. He died, officially from suicide, but many believe that he was killed by his girlfriend. Since they got into a fight right before his death, along with other evidence that didn't fit with a suicide. The police case is still open. I don't think police should just allow a case like that to remain open.

For some reason after I got done reading. I started to write lyrics for songs. I was already planning to start messing and mixing with beats once I get a new computer. I plan on making the saddest electronica album ever.


Music: Elliott Smith-King's Crossing

Hail, Snow, Rain in one day

I'm currently watching the Oscars. It's sad, this is first time I can remember not seeing any of the movies nominated. I really need to start watching more movies again. To think that at one time I wanted to be a movie reviewer.

The weather has been insane lately. During the insanity I have been driving in it. Last night I went to the surround sound show. Its was a little scary driving through the hail/freezing rain. The show was good and the party afterwards was fun. I kind of regret the 3 a.m. white castle run though, man sliders are gross.

I went to sleep at 5 a.m. after watching grandma's boy. Woke up at 9 a.m. and drove home in the rain. After going back to sleep once I got home. When I woke up it was snowing again. This weather is insane.

Fred let me borrow "Elliott Smith and the big nothing". It will be the first book I read for fun in a long time.

Music: M83-Don't save us from the flames

Better Day

My Of Montreal tickets came today.

Plus computer science was actually fun today. Since we got to mess around with graphics and sound, instead of text only.

I'm in a better mood today.

Music: Beatles-Here Comes The Sun

Fuck Myspace

So, these days haven't been the brightest for me.

Today I decided to go to a free myspace early showing of the movie 300 in Chicago. I was very hesitant on going, since I would have skip my classes. Plus I couldn't convince anyone to skip class/work, so I had to go solo. The reason I decided to go was to follow up my new years resolution, No Regrets.

I missed the train that I wanted to catch, so I caught the one half hour later. When I finally got to navy pier there was a pretty big line since it started in a half hour. I ended up being four people short from getting in. So I ended wasting all that time in the cold and money for nothing. If I would of got there fifteen minutes earlier I probably would got in.

Now as much as regret has been hurting me this past year. Disappointment isn't much better.


I also discovered that one of my few friends from ECC has decided to completely abandon me. He was one my older friends since we go way back to my early years of soccer. Which means my social life is back to zero. Sometimes I feel like just giving up on all of humanity. Unfortunately even I can't be happy with complete isolation.

Honestly, these days I don't think I would ever smile or laugh, if it wasn't for Scrubs. That t.v. show is ridiculously amazing.

Music: Galaxie 500-Isn't it a pity

Falling

Its funny how when you take one really bad fall. You lose all your previous confidence you had built up.

Today I took a really bad backwards fall while trying to stop on a snowboard. After I fell, I couldn't go down the hill without constantly falling. It doesn't help the way I fell took away the only confident way I knew of stopping. I think I'm done snowboarding for the year, maybe forever.

This applies to other areas in my life as well. When I used play soccer I used to get hit in the face by the soccer ball all the time. Then I one day I got hit by a wet soccer ball and now I almost always duck when I see a object flying at my face.

I'm not even going to get into my love life. One big misstep and now I can't get out of despair.

Rocky Belboa once said, "Its not about hard you get hit. Its about how much you can take and get up and keep moving forward".(Well something like that.)

I'm with Jason Pierce's view, "They say that pride comes just before a fall. I have fallen and I wasn't sure, you know that I have fallen further before. I just cannot stand falling no more".(Spiritualized-Out of Sight)

Music: Elliott Smith-How to Take a Fall

The breaking point

In computer science I'm at the breaking point. These loop programs are driving me crazy. If computer science wasn't my major I'd start considering dropping the class, since I have the second lowest score in class at 78%. It's the only class this semester that is below 80%. Which really makes me doubt my future with this major. I knew the math requirements for this was going to be tough, but I didn't expect the programing to be even harder this early.

It makes me think that maybe I should just change my major to history. Since its the one subject that I know can consistently get A's in. Then follow the career path of transferring to NIU and get a teaching degree along with my history major. Then find a high school to be sports coach/history teacher. I think I would enjoy being a coach, but not sure about teaching. This career path I have a high chance of succeeding at about 90%.

Instead I choose a path that is based on math one of my weaker subjects. Its not just based on simple math, it gets into upper levels of calculus and statistics. To add to this it involves the mastery of complex logical programs. Also I'm aiming at getting into DePaul or UI the best computer science school in the world. Which means I have to keep my grades up. If I keep my current GPA where it is, I'm confident I'll get into one of these schools. I'm just worried that the huge amount math classes will drag my GPA down along the way. If I'm some how able to keep my GPA up and get into one these schools. Then I will look forward to even harder math and programing classes. If I get through those class and earn my major in computer science and major/minor in Physics. Then I plan on transferring to the University of Dresden in Germany to earn a masters in Artificial Intelligence. If I earn my masters I believe that many interesting jobs would open up for me. Besides the fact that I have no clue how I'm going to fund this besides getting loans out of my mind. I only give myself about 30% chance of succeeding in this career path, but if I do make it through, I think it would be the most fulfilling lifestyle and the highest standard that I could ever possibly achieve.

So, for now I'm going to keep fighting through computer science in hopes of making my impossible dream a reality.

In better news I get to go snowboarding tomorrow at Grand Geneva. :)


Music: Sufjan Stevens-Chicago

Oh well

No snow day. :(

Computer Science 1 is getting really hard. Finaly finished the syllabus in intro to non-western humanities. Pschcology I need to study for a test, that I'll be taking later tonight online.



Music: Starlight Mints-Inside of Me

Snow Day

Hopefully snow day tomorrow. Also found out no school on Monday. :)

Music: Abandoned Pools-Sunny Day

Sick Again

The bears lost, which makes me happy being a Packers fan. Brett Farve is coming back which also makes me happy. Unfortunately I'm sick, so I might not be able to go snoboarding this friday. :(

Me Arse

I'm tired.

Snowboarding and going to a party in Chicago in one day does that to me.

It was fun.

Except for bruising my tail bone while snowboarding.

Walking around Chicago at midnight was also interesting.

Music: My Bloody Valentine-Sometimes

Tomorrow should be fun.

School is done for the week. So I'm happy.

Tomorrow snowboarding and Tasha's house warming party. So I'm happy.

No work this weekend. So I'm happy.


Music: This Is Me Smiling-Up In All Directions

Songs to ______

* to smile: The Age Of Rockets- Once We Were Monsters
* to dance: Ted Leo and The Pharmacists- Little Dawn
* to Cry: Elliott Smith- Everything Means Nothing To Me
* to Make love to: Spiritualized- Spread Your Wings
* to cheer you up: The Flaming Lips- Do You Realize??
* to shout along to: Starlight Mints- Valerie Flames
* to whistle along to: Badly Drawn Boy- You Were Right
* to Drive around to: Broken Social Scene- Cause=Time
* to relax: The Album Leaf- Thule
* to wake up to: The Helio Sequence- (Square) Bubbles
* to walk to: Spoon- I Summon You
* to inspire you: Sigur Ros- Hoppipolla

Unexpected Apology

So, today before my first class. I posted a sad comment on Sparklehorses myspace blog about him changing the venue. When I got home to my surprise I had received a message from him apologizing. He is now back on my very good side.

Also to my surprise I might have actually picked the right field to major in. I find programing in Computer Science to be quite enjoyable, but its still early.

My psychology class was pretty crazy today. We talked about how humans could eventually store their brain in a hardrive and saw a parapolegic move a computer mouse using his mind with a wire connected to his head. The teacher also talked about a experiment in the 60's. Where they took the head off of on monkey and put on the body of anther monkey. The sick part was both monkeys were alive and the procedure was a success, but the monkey with head transplant died a couple days after from a infection.

Lastly why the hell are we still going over the syllabus in McTinghes intro to non-western humanities class?


Music: Sparklehorse-It's Not So Hard

Untitled Disappointment

Well I'm kind of pissed since I just found out they moved the Sparklehorse show to a 21 plus venue. Today was also pretty shitty.

Funny fact of the day is I found out there is cursing in the song hey jude. I didn't believe it either when I first found out, but I gave it a sharp listen and found out it was true. Around 2:52 John says in the background," Got the wrong chord, fucking hell".


Music: Thievery Corporation-Marching The Hate Machines Into The Sun

All work and bored.

Due to certain plans not working out. My weekend ended up being all work. Which includes flooring and going out to a auction in Sandwhich and getting in touch with my inner red neck. This time wasn't as entertaining as last time. My dad only bought a bunch of wood trim, which almost slid out the back door a couple of times. Luckily I caught the piece before it fell out and hit the car behind us. To add to the craziness was my music player changed to Ofspring's song "Original Prankster", while I was holding on for dear life.

What made last time more entertaining was the fact we able to transport 40 doors using a station wagon. We put 25 doors on top of the wagon and the rest we crammed inside, with a few pieces of trim. To add to the craziness is only one headlight was barely working and it was dark when we made the hour plus drive. Even the rednecks were like ," He ain't gonna make it" and were taking pictures next to it. I have some cell phone pictures of this and will one day post it on here when I'm not lazy.

Also I was bored last night, so I completely redid myspace layout. The background picture is the galaxy M83 and I tied the music with the whole space theme. By using one of my favorite Spiritualized songs. I also added a couple of blogs from here. Yes, I was very bored.

Lastly I just watched Good Will Hunting for the first time. I must say it was quite amazing. It was also nice to hear a few Elliott Smith songs in the film.

Next weekend I'm pretty sure will be more fun.

Music: The Decemberists-Engine Driver

Stuck in my head

So, toady my classes didn't start till late in the day. I had time to browse the wonderful youtube. I watched these videos and later had them stuck replaying in my head. All three are amazing........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doc1eqstMQQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBTH2E5QPEE&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDxMQaMqsig&mode=related&search=

The Album Leaf Short Documentary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0eSSIIYDXE

Happy Videos with puppets
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6xauSeZz1A&NR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t2EhaWlrIw
(Funny side note: A friend told me that Boy Least Likely To used to write songs for the Spice Girls.)

Happy Elliott
http://youtube.com/watch?v=nYS6yg_L0hM&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4gs4rSL5Os

Sadness of Translation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=086skPC2uLI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0nPSy1-UXE



Hope you enjoyed the daily thought process of whats stuck in head. One more day and then done with classes for the week. :)

The battle continues................

During Friday and Saturday all I did was sleep and work. On Saturday I was so tired from work I collapsed at 9:30 p.m. I woke up at 6:30 a.m. and was bored for most of the morning. Falling asleep and waking up so early would nearly kill me later that day.

After being bored for most the morning. I went to work for a couple hours. Then I drove up to DeKalb for Headlights show. Of course it had to snow the one day I went out. So, after a few fishtails, I was able to make it to the show. Inspecter Owl opened who I'm friends with and they put on a good show. Headlights played next and they were very good. Then I stayed for half of the Asobi Seksu set. I was really tired and didn't really get into their Japanese dream pop music. So, on the drive back from DeKalb I almost fell asleep way too many times. I basically blasted music and slapped myself to stay a wake. I don't remember most of the drive ,but I did check the time when I got home. I discovered that it only took me 50 minutes to drive from DeKalb to Elgin and it usually takes about an hour and twenty minutes. I was able to shave a half hour at night, in the snow, and almost asleep. That's kind of scary. At the begginging of the week I couldn't fall asleep before 7a.m., now as the week ends I can't stay up past midnight.

This is just anther day in my battle to balance out my sleep pattern.

Pictures Of Me

Start stop and start
Stupid acting smart
Flirting with the flicks
You say it's just for kicks
You'll be the victim of your
Own dirty tricks
You've got yourself to tease
And displease

Doors swinging wide
You walked in to hide
Looking at your feet
Failure's complete
Saw you and me on the
Coin-op t.v.
Frozen in fear
Everytime we got near

Chorus:
I'm not surprised at all
And really, why should I be?
Seen nothing wrong, seen nothing wrong
So sick and tired of all these pictures of me
Completely wrong, totally wrong


Music-Elliott Smith

Teen Angst

how fast we burn!
how fast we cry!
the more we learn,
the more we die!

the more we learn,
the more we cry!
how fast we burn!
how fast we die!

i hear the planet crying now
i hear the planet crying now


Music-M83

Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in.

Compared with yesterday, today was great. I was able to sleep in and get a full night rest. Then I got to chill for a while at home, until I had to leave for class. The English class wasn't as boring as the classes yesterday and the instructor seemed to be nice. Then I found out my math class didn't start for anther week. Thanks to a kid who is in both my humanities and english class. Warning me about night how classes starting a week late and we agreed that the humanities teacher is pretty much insane.

So, I went home early and made some boxed MacN Cheese for the fist time in a long time. Then I went and worked the house until 9:30. So, now I am back on my dads good side. Lets hope tommrow goes better than yesterday.


Music: Beulah-Landslide Baby

This little life of mine

So, today was not very fun at all. First I wake up, well technically I didn't wake up since I a grand total of zero hours of sleep, but I blame myself for that. Then after I got ready and left I had to stop for gas. Of course my dads credit card didn't work, so I ended up going in and paying myself. Then I suddenly realized that I had forgot my best friend/baby/life/soul my psp. So, I rushed home and got it. I'm already running late and then there has to be a accident on route 20. Both lanes were blocked by a cop car and everybody had to force their way into route 25 exit.

I finally arrive ECC late for my first class intro to computer science, but I knew the instructor so it wasn't a big deal. Then I went to get my books, since I was planning to get them earlier, but was unable due to the accident making me late. Then I ended up being late for my next class intro to non western humanities, due to the long lines. This instructor wasn't as nice as the other one and gave me evil glares the whole class. He also had a southern droll and said ,"Ladies and Gentlemen" at least 16 times. Since I listen to Spiritualized, I hear that phrase alot, but what was kind of funny at first, ended up getting really annoying. The one cool thing he said was how puked when he saw a Bush sign in his brothers yard. Then he went on a rant about how useless psychology is, which of course is my next class. I actually made it on time to this class. The psychology teacher of course mentioned how useless anthropology classes are. By the end of the day I realized that I'm going to have to use a different of thought process for each class. Which is going to be a pain since one is in computer language and the other two seem to be polar opposites of each other.

Then I finally got to go home and collapse, until my dad wanted me to work. I told him I was dead and just let me take the day off, but of course he flipped out and now he just being a bitch. He's refusing to pay for the last book that I was unable to carry, wont wake me up when gets back from work for lunch and wont repay for the gas he said he would pay for. Now I get to look forward to English and math tomorrow. At least classes don't start till 2:30, so I can get some sleep this time.....................


Music: Nada Surf-Blonde on blonde

Bad Timing

What the hell it finally snowed today.
For over four weeks it didn't snow.
Now the day before break is over it snows!
I'm very discontent right now.



Also game plan for tonight. Go to sleep before three. So I can get at least four hours of sleep.

New Frustration

So, yesterday I found a way to free about 1gig of memory. Which means I can start downloading music again. Not like I don't have enough to go through already. I still have to go through a bunch Nick Drake, Kings of Convenience, Stars, The Album Leaf and a few songs from other varies artists.

The reason all my music has piled up is ,because I just get frustrated and overwhelmed with so much new music. Anther thing that bugs me is that I have to end up deleting most of it since my psp only has 4gigs. So, basically I have sift through all the music and pick out the artists best songs. Then when I finally get through picking out my favorite songs. I have to pick what songs to delete from my psp, since its completely full. This is really painful, because at this point of time the songs that are left on it are songs that I really like. Having to pick favorites is never fun.

Today I finally got around to adding songs that I had picked out during early fall. I ended up deleting about half of my radiohead/DCFC songs. In order to make room for The Notwist, Stereolab, and Helio Sequence. It pained me to do it, but new songs are good. Plus it makes new room on my computer for more songs.

Now I just downloaded a bunch of songs by M83, My Bloody Valentine, and Mogwai. This will only add to amount of music I need to go through. I realize this is a stupid thing to be bitching about, but this whole process really takes the fun out of listening to new music. Instead of enjoying the music, I have to criticize, rate ,and compare it to other music I have. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.(Except: Buying a new music storage device since I am currently to poor for that.)


Today I also finally got my T.V. back. After throwing away about 13 Honey Nut Cheerios boxes, that had built up in my room. I was able to catch two amazing movies on t.v. The first was Dodge Ball, which is probably my favorite comedy of all time. The other was Forsest Gump, which I have seen countless times before. I can honestly say that I will never regret calling this movie, "one of the best movies ever made". The whole movie is amazing, how many different adventures he has in his life and the ending still makes me sad. The funny thing is the first couple of times I saw it, I believed it was based on a true story.

Atheist Anthem

"Jesus Christ,
When your back's against the wall
It's sure hard to be grateful
When you've nothing here at all
You say that Hell's below us, Lord
Heaven can be mineI don't believe your promises
I don't believe your lies

And, Lord, let it rain on me
Let it all come down
I'll sell my soul to let it roll
And I'm about ready now

Lord, let it rain on me
Now I know I'm goin' down
I've got a little knowledge, Lord
And I'm about ready now

Jesus Christ,
Look at what you've gone and done
2,000 years of lookin' down
The barrel of a gun
You got the fools believin'
That there's something else to gain
Jesus Christ,
When you comin' down again?

And, Lord, let it rain on me
Let it all come down
I'll sell my soul to let it roll
And I'm about ready now

Lord, let it rain on me
Now I know I'm goin' down
I've got a little knowledge, Lord
And I'm about ready now"


Now I'm not a complete Atheist. I do believe that there is a chance that god exists. Although, I don't believe he is a perfect being. Which makes it hard to find a current religion that agrees with my views. So, for now I'm going to lean towards the Atheists side.

Also the song is from Amazing Grace by Spiritualized. His most recent CD, that I thought of as a piece of crap at first listen. Like most other fans, I though it didn't have the overpowering emotional feel as his previous two Cd's. While his last Cd's took about a year to produce. Amazing Grace was done with in two weeks and was all recorded live. This gives the CD a different kind feel that you gradually learn to love. After about four listens, my view has completely changed and is now one of my favorite Cd's.

Side Note: It is official, I'm way more obsessed with Spiritualized, than you were with Stars. Hahahahahahahahaha

The Future Looks Nice

Due to my t.v. being taken away. My day just consisted of listening to music and browsing the internet mostly about music. What I discovered is the future of music looks to be really good.

This year in music has been ok at best. With only few artist that I enjoy, who released records this year. Notable ones are Sparklehorse, Muse, Headlights, The Flaming Lips(not nearly their best work). As for tours I missed Muse, The Cloud Room, Sigur Ros and Matt Pond PA. But I am pretty happy with the number shows I was able to see. The only downside to the touring aspect is just the past couple months. When I was on break and I had plenty of time and money for shows. They all of sudden stopped and I ended up seeing a grand total of zero shows over break. Even my friends were wondering why there were no shows over break. Oh well, Now for the future.

The bands that are expected to release new albums consist of: Spiritualized, The Shins, Air, Matt Pond PA, Of Montreal, Wilco, Bright Eyes, and The Arcade Fire. All these bands are expected to tour to support their new albums. Plus Shout Out Louds, The Notwist, and Smashing Pumpkins are all working on a new album. Shows I definitely must see are Spiritualized, Sparklehorse, and Matt Pond PA. Over all I'm happy with the coming years possibilities.

To top this all off Halo 3 is coming out. I just got to get my 360 fixed, which is a problem that I should take care of very soon.

Not Good

So, I have been procrastinating paying for ECC. I thought you were supposed to pay like a week before classes. I just checked and the deadline was like two ago.

Time to cross my fingers and hope I wasn't dropped from my classes.

The way I see things...........

I'm becoming a vampire.

I've always had a irregular sleep pattern. Even when I was in middle school, I would stay awake until 1a.m. It naturally progressed to between 2-4a.m. during high school. Wake up time for school was always around 6:45 a.m. since I always had to compensate for 45 min showers. (Yes, I know that a long time for a shower, but when I'm in the shower is the only time during the day, that I am completely at peace and can get my thoughts together.)

Now that college has rolled around, my average bedtime is 5. Which is pretty late, but now I get to choose what time my classes start and I make sure that I can sleep in every other day. Currently over break my average bed time has risen to 7. Even I can now emit that I have a insomniac problem. Going to sleep as your dad is waking is never a good thing.

What has caused this to progress so far?

Well as my experiences during daytime have been getting worse and worse. The night has begun to look more and more inviting and pleasant. I have always enjoyed the dark calmness of night and disliked the bright chaos of day. Most days I am awake for only a couple hours of sunlight.

I think I might have to lower my bed time before school starts again.

I'm Back

So, I haven't wrote anything here for awhile, because my computer is crap and didn't load the log in page. Now that I finally found a way around that here is a recap of what happened over the past two weeks.

Movies:

Rocky Balboa- Surprisingly this movie was quite good. Best Rocky movie I can remember since the original.

Children of Men- This movie is probably the best movie I've seen in a long time. There is one word to describe this movie "intense". The story, plot, and acting are all amazing. I highly recommend it.

Holidays:

Christmas- It was a very good Christmas. I got mostly spiritualized stuff that I had been eagerly looking forward to for months and some unexpected money to keep me a float through whats left of winter and spring.

Christmas Presents:
Spiritualized- Amazing Grace CD(His most recent work has few garage rock gems), The Complete Works Vol. 2 CD(Amazing instrumentals and mix of b-sides and old tracks), Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space(This CD is absolutely amazing and the first three tracks alone are worth the money), Spiritualized T-Shirt(Its so cool I wore it on New Years).

The Flaming Lips-Ego Tripping At the Gates Of Hell EP(The Postal Service Remix of "Do You Realize" is a little disappointing, but the two remixes of "Ego Tripping At The Of Hell" and the Christmas song are pretty nice).

Also got slippers, Adidas hoodie, and most importantly ANDIE'S CHOCOLATE MINTS. Next to spiritualized, the mints are the best thing on Earth.

Forgetting Montgomery Show:

After Christmas I decided to go to the show since Tuesdays are pretty lame. Like always its very awkward to be surrounded be emo high schoolers that all smoke. To top that it has be at Clearwater, where there is nowhere to sit, get away from the smoke, charge two fuckin dollars for water and they don't let you leave in between sets, so I had to sit through Panic At The Disco get played over and over and over again. Now, no offense to FM and the rest of the bands, but they are small local bands and you should be able leave and come back for local. I can see them not letting any in or outs for big shows, but come on LOCAL BANDS. Even though screamo really isn't my style, FM had a few songs that were pretty good and the rest of the bands I stayed for were EH.

New Years:

This was probably the best New Years party that I've been to. It was pretty much the same as last year, but I actually new most the people at the party this time. I was very proud that I actually managed my buzz this time and was drunk without throwing up the whole night. Even though half the people that showed up weren't invited, I was always able to find a room to chill in with people that I knew. I even for a while got on good terms with a kid that never really got along with. Until 6 am came around and the party was wrapping up. I found out about the Packers kicking the shit out the bears and went on a drunk rant afterwards. Which pissed off the kid and made him hate me again, since he was a bears fan. Even though I'm sad that the packers barely missed the playoffs, a win over the bears was like the cherry on top for great new years night.

This was followed by the most ugly mourning of the year. I don't know if this year was an improvement to last years puking like eight times. Instead I had the flu and a hang over. Not being able to breathe well and coughing with a hang over is a very bad mix. I some how was able to drive 40 min to home and crash the rest of the day.

Ugliness:

Having the flu for over a week(new years didn't help).
No Snow at alllllllll over break!!!!!!!!!(So much for snowboarding) :(
School is about to start and I'm not looking forward to this semester at all.